


Leather Jackets and Cigarettes

by Beth1A4



Category: Monbebe, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Kihyun - Freeform, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Underage Drinking, m/m - Freeform, monsta x - Freeform, wonho - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:31:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11495151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth1A4/pseuds/Beth1A4
Summary: Kihyun was always vulnerable. His friends never saw just how vulnerable he was.But Wonho did. He could see straight through him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is really deep and dark so there is a lot of warnings including a lot of abuse that includes sexual abuse. It also goes into depth about mental illness. Please do not read this if it will make you sad or trigger you.  
> THIS STORY IS ENTIRELY FICTION!  
> It does not represent the real Monsta X. Don't be stupid.  
> Also I wrote this story for entertainment purposes, not to get you off so don't be weird about it please.  
> Anyway if you're still reading, I hope you enjoy the story!

It was hot and sticky in Kihyun's cramped bedroom. He lay on top of his blankets in nothing but a white t-shirt and boxer shorts. Reruns of old US shows played on the TV for hours as he rolled around trying to fall asleep for longer than 5 minutes. He had class in less than 4 hours, no doubt he would be skipping again.

Nights like this were all too common for Kihyun. Insomnia and the constant fear of everything made his brain work overtime. He was tired. He was so tired. But sleep was never actually sleep for him. The sun was beginning to rise and it casted an orange hue across his room. The room was becoming even more of a sweat box.

Kihyun decided he couldn't take it anymore. Laying there thinking about how his life was meaningless and hearing the same story-lines repeat on the TV. He pushed himself off the bed and made his way downstairs and through the front door. The cool breeze and dimly lit street was a blessing to him. He took out a cigarette and had a couple of puffs.

The rest of the houses on the road were blacked out. Usually people would be strolling in from parties or waking up for work at this time. But this morning, everything was still and almost dead. There was a faint whistle of birds in the background but nothing more. Kihyun eventually threw the cigarette butt to the ground and headed back inside. He was quiet as to do not wake up his parents. A lecture was not what he needed at 5am. Sleep was no longer an option for him tonight and he couldn't bare the thought of staying home for another day. So he decided to go to school.


	2. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is really deep and dark so there is a lot of warnings including a lot of abuse that includes sexual abuse. It also goes into depth about mental illness. Please do not read this if it will make you sad or trigger you.  
> THIS STORY IS ENTIRELY FICTION!  
> It does not represent the real Monsta X. Don't be stupid.  
> Also I wrote this story for entertainment purposes, not to get you off so don't be weird about it please.  
> Anyway if you're still reading, I hope you enjoy the story!

It was hot and sticky in Kihyun's cramped bedroom. He lay on top of his blankets in nothing but a white t-shirt and boxer shorts. Reruns of old US shows played on the TV for hours as he rolled around trying to fall asleep for longer than 5 minutes. He had class in less than 4 hours, no doubt he would be skipping again.

Nights like this were all too common for Kihyun. Insomnia and the constant fear of everything made his brain work overtime. He was tired. He was so tired. But sleep was never actually sleep for him. The sun was beginning to rise and it casted an orange hue across his room. The room was becoming even more of a sweat box.

Kihyun decided he couldn't take it anymore. Laying there thinking about how his life was meaningless and hearing the same story-lines repeat on the TV. He pushed himself off the bed and made his way downstairs and through the front door. The cool breeze and dimly lit street was a blessing to him. He took out a cigarette and had a couple of puffs.

The rest of the houses on the road were blacked out. Usually people would be strolling in from parties or waking up for work at this time. But this morning, everything was still and almost dead. There was a faint whistle of birds in the background but nothing more. Kihyun eventually threw the cigarette butt to the ground and headed back inside. He was quiet as to do not wake up his parents. A lecture was not what he needed at 5am. Sleep was no longer an option for him tonight and he couldn't bare the thought of staying home for another day. So he decided to go to school.

School was never good to Kihyun. Not the actual learning or his classmates, but the whole atmosphere was never something he felt comfortable in. He didn't go often. Maybe twice a week if he was feeling up to it. But most days his depression forced him to stay home. Stuck in that room with the same four walls and the same TV shows constantly playing again and again.

Kihyun arrived at school an hour early for his first class. Which meant he time for another cigarette. He lent against the white bricks of the school. The back of the building was always quiet in the morning. Teachers usually enter through the front so he wouldn't be caught. His uniform was messy, a half-assed tied tie and an un-tucked shirt. Some days he wondered why he even bothered with anything, he was basically programmed for failure. What was the point in trying?

The end of June sun was beating down hard already. Whenever the weather was like this it always seemed as though he should be out doing more; like frolicking in a fucking meadow or diving into a cold lake. Not that he ever would. He had convinced himself that having any kind of fun was not something his body was capable of. He felt guilty. And fun was not something guilty people were allowed to have.

"Kihyun?" A voice softly spoke to the left of him. He turned around saw a long time friend smoking next to him. Minhyuk was the opposite to Kihyun. From his bright and outgoing personality to way he looked. His bright blonde hair totally in contrast to Kihyun's jet black hair.

The only thing they had in common was their addiction to nicotine or rather; how cool they thought they looked smoking. Honestly, they had been friends for so long they didn't need anything in common anymore. "Hey" Kihyun replied softly. "I can't believe you actually came today"

"I missed my best friend too much" Kihyun said sarcastically. He was feeling slightly out of it due to the lack of sleep. "You look like shit" Minhyuk leaned against the wall copying Kihyun. "I know" Kihyun sighed "Can't remember the last time I got more than an hour of sleep""Maybe school isn't the best thing for you right now" Minhyuk seemed genuinely concerned for his friend."I'll be okay, maybe I can nap at lunch or something" Kihyun threw half of the cigarette on the floor and smushed it with his sneaker. Minhyuk gave a half-reassuring smile towards his best friend and patted his back. As the morning went on, the grounds began to fill with more and more school kids. It was this time that Kihyun hated. "We should get going to class" Minhyuk wrapped his arm playfully around Kihyun as they made their way inside the building.

The morning classes seemed to drag. The teachers both shocked and happy to have bright happy Kihyun back in their class. It was lunch time and he hadn't hung out with his friends for a few weeks now. Napping was an option, but as he walked through the dining hall towards the nurses office; he could hear Minhyuk's insane laughter. He decided he didn't want to miss out anymore. Jooheon, Changkyun, Hyungwon and Minhyuk were all sat around a table shouting and laughing with eachother. Kihyun felt a wave of happiness overcome is fatigued body when he saw them. "Hey" He smiled sitting at their table. They were all happy to see him and cheered loudly as soon as his butt hit the chair. "How've you been?" Jooheon asked. Kihyun shrugged and decided to let the bags under his eyes speak for him. "We've been missing you anyway" Hyungwon added to break the sympathetic silence. Kihyun smiled brightly "Me too, staying home all day was making me worse"

"I'm throwing a party tonight, you have to come" Jooheon beamed. "You're not throwing a party, Shownu is" Changkyun interrupted. Shownu was Jooheon's older brother, he was in a college and always threw hipsterish parties whenever they're parents were gone. "So it'll be a bunch for college students... and us?" Hyungwon asked. Jooheon nodded "Yeah, but there's beer and we could always play Xbox". Kihyun thought about it, he hadn't been to a party for so long. It would be a way to drink and forget for the night. "I'll go" Kihyun said. Everyone looked at him. "Really?" Minhyuk raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, we haven't hung out for a long time. I wanna go" Kihyun seemed excited which was rare. "I guess if Kihyun is going I'll go" Minhyuk spoke up and eventually everyone else agreed to join. Jooheon grinned and the plans were set. 

Once classes were finished for they day Kihyun met his friends by the school gates. He and Minhyuk were smoking again as they eyeballed girls that walked past. "Have you ever had a hand-job?" Minhyuk asked. Kihyun's face turned red. He had come out to his friends as being bisexual less than 6 months ago. He was lucky to have friends that supported him no matter what. Even more than his family ever would. "No and neither have you" Kihyun laughed. Minhyuk smirked "I have". Kihyun threw his half finished cigarette on the floor "Bullshit. From who?" 

"Your mom" Minhyuk burst out laughing. "Grow up" Kihyun shook his head but couldn't stop himself from smirking. The rest of their clan eventually joined them. Hyungwon immediately choking on the cigarette smoke from Minhyuk as he stood by him. "Be at mine for 7 okay?" Jooheon demanded "You gotta get there before they drink all the good stuff". They all agreed and before he knew it Kihyun was alone again. He hated that. Being alone with nothing but his thoughts. Right now they weren't as bad as usual; he was too busy thinking about all the alcohol he was going to drink. Not that he could drink that much when it finally came around to it, he only thought he could. He sat on the edge of his bed debating what to wear. His self-esteem had greatly shrunken in the last year and he often chose clothes that hid his skinny body. But tonight something seemed different. He chose black skinny jeans and a fitted striped shirt. Before he left for the night, he admired himself in the mirror. Sure he still looked half dead from the lack of sleep. But he felt good. Finally. He smiled at his reflection before quickly leaving before his parents caught him.

The house was full. Full with teenagers, full with the stench of alcohol and smoke from countless cigarettes. A playlist filled with rock and pop music played almost loud enough to burst some eardrums. Most people in there were college aged like Jooheon's older brother Shownu. They all seemed to all dress the same. Each of them trying desperately to be edgy and unique but it was so phoney and obviously a trend to dress that way; that it just wasn't cool anymore. They looked like they could be wearing hipster school uniforms. 

Kihyun wasn't drunk yet, it was early still; around 9 or 10pm. He and his group of friends were stood around the kitchen talking about mindless nonsense none of them would remember the next day. Kihyun released he didn't like alcohol that much, everything about it was kinda off putting. The taste, the burning sensation and the headache's were never worth it. But the peer pressure from Jooheon was enough to get him to have a beer, or 3.

He was tipsy, it was obvious by the way he staggered towards the fridge to grab a couple more beers for his friends. "Your brother is awesome for letting us come" Changkyun said. "The only reason you're here is because I threatened to tell our parents" Jooheon smirked. They talked about mostly nonsense as they awkwardly stood together. None of them gaining any dutch courage to interact with the older teens. 

After his 4th beer Kihyun noticed he had started to be less self-conscious. He was more relaxed but also craving nicotine way more than when he was sober. He reached into his jean's pocked and pull out a packet of cigarettes. "Woah Kihyun, not in here" Jooheon waved his hand "go outside and smoke" he pointed to the back door. 

Kihyun shrugged "You coming?" he directed his question towards Minhyuk who had barely drunk half a beer since arriving. "No, I decided to quit" Minhyuk played with the sticker on the bottle. "From this morning?" Kihyun pulled his face. Minhyuk just nodded and nervously took a swig from his bottle. Kihyun sighed heavily before making his way towards the door. He sloppily pushed his way through a group of friends. They were discussing something about their book club. The cool air immediately hit his red, hot cheeks. Another reason why he didn't enjoy drinking. His face lit up whenever a drop of alcohol touched his lips. His head was slightly wavy at this point, he leaned against the brick wall and took a deep breath. 

The back yard was also filled with the hipster students as they smoked in small groups to fit their aesthetic. The only thing Kihyun could relate too. He pulled out the pack again and finally got to put on of the sticks to his lips. He watched the evening sky, admired the setting sun with all of it's yellow and orange hues. He felt good. Today was good. He reached into his back pocket for a lighter; only to find dust bunnies. "Shit" He sighed. 

"Need a light?" A deep voice next to him spoke. Kihyun jumped slightly and looked towards the voice. There was a boy; no a man, stood half in the shadows. Kihyun's immediate thought was about how attractive he was. His eyes were bright blue in complete contrast to his black hair, and milky white skin. "T-thanks" Kihyun managed to splutter out before his staring got too intense. The man lit Kihyun's cigarette for him before lighting his own. Kihyun looked him up and down once more. He was completely different to all the other people at the party. Instead of wearing Adidas and "vintage" clothes; he wore a dark leather jacket that was slightly too big for him, a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans. "I'm Wonho" He spoke into the awkward silence. "I'm Kihyun" He replied trying to make himself seem more confident than he was in reality. Even with the alcohol kicking in, talking to someone he found attractive was terrifying. 

Wonho smiled to himself, glancing at the fragile person who was blushing in front of him "you look a little younger than other people here". Kihyun sighed, he was small. Even though he was barely 16, compared to the rest of his class he was the smallest. "I'm old enough, I'm just baby-faced" He tried to shrug it off. Wonho gave out a little chuckle "so you're in college?" 

"Yep," Kihyun nodded. Wonho rolled his eyes "So are all you friends in there in college too? Cause I swear Shownu's little brother is only in 11th grade". Kihyun's faced felt a lot hotter than before. He turned away from Wonho and silently spat out "fuck". Making Wonho laugh a little louder. 

"So how old are you really?" Wonho's laughed turned into a cute smile. "...16" Kihyun replied expecting him to walk away. Wonho tilted his head slightly and starred at Kihyun. It should have been awkward but the confidence in Wonho was so strong that, it wasn't. Kihyun even debated is he was weird for questioning it. "cute" Wonho smiled still staring at him. Kihyun couldn't stop himself from smiling now, his face must have the colour of ketchup but he didn't care. 

"Are you 18 like Shownu?" Kihyun asked gaining some confidence. Wonho shook his head "I'm in the class above, I'm 19. Almost 20". Kihyun felt slightly intimidated and disappointed. Not like he even had a chance with Wonho, but now the almost 5 year age gap seemed to make the chances slimmer. Wonho put out his cigarette and Kihyun copied. "Wanna get a drink inside?" Wonho asked. "Sure" Kihyun said as they headed inside "I'm not a strong drinker though". 

It was less than an hour later and Kihyun was well and truly wasted. The party was in full swing as most people were in the living room dancing and laughing. He and Wonho had been taking shots of everything they could. Kihyun felt good though; confident, free and he was actually enjoying himself for the first time in a while. Jooheon was the only one still left out of the group. They had all been summoned home by their mom's. Kihyun had somehow drunkenly convinced his parents to let him sleep at Jooheon's. Wonho despite drinking the same amount as Kihyun seemed un-phased by the alcohol. "You want another?" Wonho shouted over the music.

"No way" Kihyun slurred "I told you, I don't drink a lot". Wonho waved his hand ignoring him and headed to the kitchen. Kihyun stopped dancing and headed over to Jooheon who was sat alone on the couch. "Shownu said he's no good" Jooheon said "He wasn't even invited here, because nobody likes him. He's insane". Kihyun crossed his eyebrows "Well he's being nice to me"

"That's because no one else talks to him" Jooheon sighed. Kihyun began to walk towards to the kitchen but Jooheon grabbed his arm "Please, don't. He's done stuff to people before". Kihyun pulled his arm away angrily ignoring his best friend and heading into the kitchen again. He saw Wonho preparing a couple drink on the counter and walked over to him. Kihyun debated leaving going back to Jooheon but Wonho turned around and smiled brightly giving Kihyun butterflies. Wonho handed Kihyun a red solo cup, filled with clear liquid. Kihyun took a sip and almost spat it back out "What's that?" he choked.It tasted like pure vodka but somehow stronger. "Something I drink a lot. I thought you weren't a pussy" Wonho took a swig from his drink and swallowed it smoothly. 

Kihyun took this as a challenge and chugged the whole cup. His throat was burning and he felt like he was going to throw up or pass out or both. "I'm not" Kihyun said between dry heaves. Wonho smirked and quickly drunk his drink to catch up. Kihyun watched as Wonho licked the clear liquid from his lips. He wanted to kiss him so badly, but he didn't even think Wonho was gay. He had been eyeballing girls for pretty much the whole night. But there was something about him that didn't seem completely straight. 

"Easy" Wonho wiped the remaining drink from his chin. Kihyun couldn't stop himself at this point, he basically threw himself into Wonho and kissed him hard. In a public place Kihyun kissing another boy was dangerous. Few people knew he was bi but for some reason, he didn't care. Wonho almost immediately accepted him and took control. He stuck his tongue into Kihyun's mouth as they made out against the kitchen counter. After a couple minutes Wonho broke the kiss and whispered into Kihyun's ear "Want to go somewhere else?" he looked into Kihyun's glossy eyes. "Where?" Kihyun asked but honestly the answer didn't matter, he would follow those beautiful blue eyes anywhere. Wonho could tell him he wanted to move to another planet and Kihyun wouldn't hesitate to go with him right now. "Upstairs?" Wonho raised an eyebrow and Kihyun's stomach filled with wings once more. He didn't speak as Wonho grabbed him by the wrist and lead the way. 

Kihyun began to feel tired and dizzy. As they walked through the crowds of people it felt like he wasn't really there, as though he was in a dream. Wonho had to pull him through the drunk students. Once they reached the staircase Kihyun's legs were too weak to even hold him up and they buckled. Wonho swooped him up with one arm and threw him over his shoulder. He began to walk up the stairs as Kihyun began to lose consciousness The music was the first thing to fade from Kihyun's senses, it was so loud only moments ago but now the sounds were muffled and only getting quieter. His head lent against the soft leather of Wonho's jacket as his vision began to fade. The last thing he remembered was the sent of Wonho's cologne as they entered a dark bedroom. 

Everything appeared again as he fell onto the bed, his back thumped against it harshly as Wonho dropped him. Kihyun was completely detached from his surrounds as he . Wonho seemed slightly frantic as he rushed over and sat next to him, but everything was blurry to Kihyun. "Shhh..okay?" Wonho whispered in Kihyun's ear before kissing his cheek. He clicked his fingers in front of Kihyun's face "You okay?". Kihyun realising he was actually still here managed to nod sightly and let out a tired noise that barely resembled a "yes". "You're so hot" Wonho said staring down at him. If Kihyun would have been fully conscious; hearing those words from Wonho's mouth would have made him happy. But tonight, they fell on deaf ears. 

Wonho traced Kihyun's jawline with his finger and dragged it down his neck to his collarbones and where Kihyun's shirt covered the rest of his body. Kihyun sighed as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Wonho kissed Kihyun again, on the boarder his jawline and his neck. They started off soft and light, slowly Wonho kissed his way to Kihyun's closed mouth. The kiss felt like nothing at first, Kihyun could taste cigarettes and the remains of their last drink. "Kihyun, are you a virgin?" Wonho asked. Kihyun barely managed to process what he was saying but sleepily whispered "y-yes" he said. "Kihyun, can I? Please?" Wonho slid his hands down Kihyun's torso and around his crotch letting out soft sighs as when he reached that area. He squeezed slightly and Kihyun let out a quiet moan. It wasn't a yes. But it was enough for Wonho. 

Wonho flipped Kihyun around so he was lay on his stomach and began to kiss his neck and behind his ears. Kihyun's face sunk into the soft cotton bed sheets as he fought to stay conscious. He knew what was happening, he didn't completely want it. But he knew he couldn't fight back, not when staying awake nearly impossible. Wonho got more aggressive the hornier he became. He threw his jacket to the floor, followed by his white shirt and blue jeans. If he wasn't so drunk Kihyun would be enjoying this a lot more. He wanted to turn around and see Wonho, but now his hand was pressing into Kihyun's head; forcing it down into the mattress. Despite everything, Kihyun wasn't scared or angry. He was numb and he wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Wonho began to kiss down Kihyun's clothed back until he reached the top of his jeans. Without hesitation and with sex the only thing on his mind, Wonho pulled Kihyun's pants to his knees along with his boxer shorts. The last things Kihyun noticed before he blacked out was a sharp pain through his lower body and a chocked moan from Wonho's throat.


	3. Authors Note

Sorry for not uploading the next chapter! I just started university and thinks have been crazy for the past two weeks, I should hopefully have time to add some more soon! Thanks for reading! <3


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